65redroses (65redroses) wrote,
65redroses
65redroses

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hope on the line

focus.
in
out
in
out
the girls massage my feet
distraction from the pain
my mums eyes hold mine
focus
in
out
in
out
justin cuddles me up
holding me as nausea rocks me sideways
my sister struggles to get food into my body
dads eyes look into mine
focus
in
out
in
out
each day gets a little bit easier
a few more laughs
a couple more hours spent awake
and the question starts to form on my lips
am i
not
dying?
i barely dare to say it
don't want to tease
but hell...
i'm feeling better each day.
i don't want to claim anything just yet
but the one thing i do believe in....
is hope.
and right now there is still hope
i am on the transplant list.
each morning when i open my eyes
i turn to justin and say
"good morning love. i made it another night. i am alive"
and we rejoice
celebrate
for being alive is a very good thing
the best thing actually
unbelievable
and for my friends that flew in from paris and calgary and edmonton
to say their goodbyes
they are very happy to be saying their see you soons instead
i'm not saying we are out of the troubled waters just yet
i need new lungs
and i need them soon
but i am waking up each day
and that is good news
so please
smile
and know that your love prayers good thoughts and well wishes
helped pull me through
yet another dark night
i love you all so much
thank you
and i
love
love
love.










Tags: annie, dad, death, friends, justin, love, mum, transplant
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