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i love i love i love......i live.

hello world


i've tried to write this entry about 5 times tonight and my fingers just don't seem to want to type.

but i have a smile on my face and i want you all to see it.


i have to keep smiling.
it reminds me that i am here and that i am me.


i've had to make some phone calls today to my tight circle of loved ones and friends and i count all of you in on that so i've decided to just do a video post to explain what's going on.


please let me know if it doesn't work or if you don't have video viewing capabilities....

to my LJ friends from Eva Dien on Vimeo.

Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 Unported License.



© Eva Dien Brine Markvoort 2006-2010

Comments

( 34 comments — Leave a comment )
oneandonlytara
Sep. 9th, 2009 02:33 pm (UTC)
This brought tears to my eyes.

Eva, I know you and I hardly talk, but I want you to know that your LJ and your story is one of the most inspiring and uplifting things. Throughout all of your hardships, you have had a smile on your face and are able to see the good in everything. Something I myself do sometimes, but other times it isn't so easy. You make it seem effortless, but I'm sure that isn't always the case.

Please know that you are in my thoughts. It has been a joy to have kept up with your story for the past year or so. I hope one day, when you make it to Toronto, I will have the fortune of meeting you. We still need to chat over cupcakes and cherry kool-aid. Even if it means I need to travel four hours to do so.

Be well,
Tara

elbiesee
Sep. 9th, 2009 02:44 pm (UTC)
You are inspiring. And tougher than I think I would be.

That's all.

*loves*
ohsoawful
Sep. 9th, 2009 03:03 pm (UTC)
dear eva,
i'm sitting here...crying...and i don't know what to say because nothing i say can change anything or make you better. i just want you to know that ever since i started reading your lj you have been an inspiration. you are amazing, you are a fighter, and even when you are feeling at your lowest your beauty still shines through. i want to watch you get through this just like you've gotten through all the other obstacles you've overcome. i love you.
<3 kat
highverbalfan
Sep. 9th, 2009 03:31 pm (UTC)
Take care of yourself, kid. I'll be thinking of you.

<3
glitterymascara
Sep. 9th, 2009 03:50 pm (UTC)
I love you, and you are in my thoughts.
tori_x
Sep. 9th, 2009 03:57 pm (UTC)
Sending you all my love and massive hugs!!! xx
crysnel
Sep. 9th, 2009 04:23 pm (UTC)
You are always in my thoughts and prayers and now will be even more so. Take care and keep us posted, sweetie.
spirit_of_kina
Sep. 9th, 2009 04:27 pm (UTC)
I always seem to leave marathon comments...

You already have made a difference according to the news I got from Mish....

You CAN do this... Gosh Eva... Mind if I take a little trip up there to see ya? I'll save my money :) It would be nice to hang out without the cameras, and crowds barrading us about the film. I love you so much. I don't know where to go with this comment, kinda like you don't know where to go with your thoughts. This next couple weeks is going to be driving us both mad hun. :/

I need a mini vacation, and I wouldnt' mind just perking up a friend through what I've gone through.
spirit_of_kina
Sep. 9th, 2009 04:28 pm (UTC)
P.S. I hid back at my mother's too when I hit CR. It's easier to recover and focus that way. I know your mum would be excellent in rubbing off more stubbornness, love, and strength..
blueskitten
Sep. 9th, 2009 05:11 pm (UTC)
Sometimes there are no words I can come up with.

*love love love love love*

violentnitemare
Sep. 9th, 2009 06:00 pm (UTC)
Eva,
My thoughts and prayers are with you. You're a strong and amazing woman. Even if though we haven't met I'm really glad to know you and have you...somewhat(even through this community) a part of my life. I think about you and Kina all the time. The people I look up to. My heros and soldiers in battle.
I hope and pray for a speedy recovery so you can get back out there and live the life so many of us want.
Luv you and stay strong.

- Kerry
lotus82
Sep. 9th, 2009 06:08 pm (UTC)
Eva, I love you. You hang in there. You'll be okay because you're strong enough to fight this war.
daydee
Sep. 9th, 2009 07:41 pm (UTC)
I want to drive up there right now and hug you, and hold you, and just scream at the world...

Actually say the word and I can be on my way up, I have my passport and a few free days.

I love you.
joslushlife
Sep. 9th, 2009 08:17 pm (UTC)
I love you.
evershnooks
Sep. 9th, 2009 08:37 pm (UTC)
KICK YOUR LUNGS IN THE FACE >:( THEN THEY'LL START WORKING.

I really think it's amazing that you can get a retransplant. It absolutely blows me away. And the fact that they can even consider you for it is amazing.

Being at home is the best place in the world sometimes. Rest well, ok :)?
(Deleted comment)
amayasora2992
Sep. 9th, 2009 09:12 pm (UTC)
Wow, Eva.

I'll be praying for you. You are strong; you can get through this!

*hugs*
corduroyskirt
Sep. 9th, 2009 10:33 pm (UTC)
good luck, eva! i hope things go well. you're so strong. and i love how you believe in your strength.
wunderkin72
Sep. 10th, 2009 12:34 am (UTC)
I've never wanted to hug someone so bad. I love you, and you WILL be okay. I've decided. No matter what the outcome, or how it's fixed.
<3
roseofaurora
Sep. 10th, 2009 02:49 am (UTC)
Thank you for the update!

Please know that you have touched my life with your story, your incredible grace and courage and your beauty. I am here, listening, watching, praying and hoping for your recovery.

Have faith. Stay strong. Rest and do what you need to do.

hoodedfreak
Sep. 10th, 2009 04:16 am (UTC)
oh Eva.....my Eva.....I love you.....so much love....I'm soooooo sad I can't make the Vancouver screening SNIFF....

You are constantly in my thoughts Eva. Heart.
blixt
Sep. 10th, 2009 09:39 am (UTC)
I'm so sorry to hear this, I'm in awe of how positive you are despite this setback. You're so strong, you're such an inspiration. Thank you for sharing this.
I'll be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.
orwellian_trash
Sep. 10th, 2009 04:36 pm (UTC)
Good luck, yeah? You'll beat this.
irena_ez
Sep. 10th, 2009 04:38 pm (UTC)
Love, hugs, prayers, anything I can do to help...
You made a difference, But you will do so much more, it's just a matter of time. I'll be looking forward to meet you, someday.
aifeala
Sep. 11th, 2009 05:04 am (UTC)
I hadn't heard the news yet - your post to the comm clued me in.

Eva... :(

Please get better.
laxluver
Sep. 13th, 2009 02:18 am (UTC)
I will be praying for you and wishing you all the best. I send hugs and good wishes... hugs be strong you have been for so long and I know you still can be
bodylove
Sep. 16th, 2009 04:42 am (UTC)
*hugs* I am so sorry and I am praying for you and thinking of you and sending you lots of love and healing energy. You have so much strength with you and I believe in you *hugs* be well
softanimal
Sep. 17th, 2009 07:36 am (UTC)
tears. all my love & prayers & thoughts & virtual hugs & incantations are yours. you can do this, eva. <3
emeraldetoile
Sep. 26th, 2009 10:15 pm (UTC)
-Long time lurker-

Blew a big kiss back at you when I watched that. Eva, you are a Warrior Queen. The world is all the more better because of individuals like yourself and I am honored to feel that faith which you extend to the world around you, and feel that faith, and then contribute my heightened faith to others.

You pay it forward Eva and will continue to do so.

<3
(Anonymous)
Sep. 28th, 2009 02:29 pm (UTC)
HI I am Sam WCF from UK, I just wanted to say this video and you are amazing, you are so strong and I admire that so greatly, you have made a difference and I hope so badly that you get another chance at life!I will be thinking if you....
talltash
Dec. 17th, 2009 12:21 am (UTC)
I just wanted to let you know that there is a stranger in Michigan who has been reading your entries and finally got to this entry and is praying for you. And sending good thoughts. And hope. And faith...all your way. xxx
(Anonymous)
Jun. 6th, 2010 04:26 am (UTC)
I love eva. You've changed my life
(Anonymous)
Aug. 23rd, 2010 10:20 pm (UTC)
All my love to you.
I found your LJ journal and story after you'd already left this earth. But even so, the impact you've had on my life has been breathtaking, as I read your journal from the beginning over the last two weeks.

Thank you for being you: a kind, soft, generous light in the darkness, a flame that flickers on immortal, not gone but changing form.

All I keep thinking is, you are a force of nature -- not were, but ARE -- gracing the world with your sparkly goodness, so much so that even death can't snuff your light.

If I could've, I'd have given you some of my life-years to lengthen yours in a heartbeat. In lieu of that, I'll keep you in my heart and live my own life to the fullest, taking your brave memory with me every breath of the way.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
(Anonymous)
Sep. 9th, 2010 03:10 pm (UTC)
<3
Thank you Eva... For everything.
I love you... You R my inspiration...

Natalia (Gdansk, PL)
( 34 comments — Leave a comment )

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